My old farmer Grandpa gave me a clipping from a newspaper the other day titled “An Old Farmer’s Advice.” That’s like my grandpa, to take a liking to some writing or another and pass it on. And because it’s from my grandpa, and because I like my grandpa, I will pass it on to you.
I couldn’t find the original author when I looked online, although I did find a fuller version of the same words in multiple places. But I will share with you the version my grandpa shared with me.
An Old Farmer’s Advice
1. Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
2. Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
3. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
4. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
5. Words that soak into your ears are whispered — not yelled.
6. Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
7. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
8. Live a good, honorable life. Then, when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
9. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
10. The biggest troublemaker you’ll ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
11. Always drink upstream from the herd.
12. Lettin’ the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
13. If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
14. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.